


All's Fair

by sheiksleopardthong



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, M/M, Vietnam War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 16:32:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheiksleopardthong/pseuds/sheiksleopardthong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel's a coward. He's a failure and the laughing stock of his family. He runs from responsibility, from honour, from his duty. Or, at least, that's what he tells himself. Sam Winchester, though, knows the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All's Fair

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gimmemormor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gimmemormor/gifts).



> Happy birthday Miescha! Sorry this is so late.  
> Some day this might be a series, honestly.

The letter in my hands felt heavy and solid. Like I'd been mailed a stone tablet. It took a long time, but finally I looked up. My brothers were all staring at me, proud faces. Like they were part of another world. A world where my hands clutched at golden feathers that were to teach me to fly.

That couldn't be true, though. My stomach was already buried halfway to China.

Michael made pineapple upside-down cake for dinner. It wasn't my favourite, but it had fruit in it, so Michael was convinced it was healthier than other types of cake.

I ate two pieces and every bite felt like glue in my mouth.

I didn't sleep that night, either. I was too busy packing. As soon as that stone letter was out of my hands my mind had begun racing. I could practically hear an engine starting between my ears.

My brothers had signed up. Michael, Raphael, the lot of them. They asked for their duty. They called me a coward for refusing.

"It's only a matter of time, little brother," they'd said.

It seemed my time was up.

If I was a coward before, at least I was living up to my title. Soon everything I could possibly need was loaded up in the back of my car and I was speeding away from my brothers, my family, my life.

I drove all night, and well into the day. I don't think I consciously knew where I was going, but something must have pulled me north. The next I remembered I was in Bellingham, Washington, pulling into the parking lot of the grocery store. I sat pressed deep into my seat for a long time, the sun high over me, watching, judging.

Slowly, I peeled myself off the leather and went for a walk. There was a payphone off to the side of the building. It was just after noon on a Tuesday. Everyone was at work, or school, so I was blissfully alone, standing outside the red box.

A number ran, over and over, in my head. I'd dialed it a million times, but hadn't ever let the call go through.

I figured I'd done enough thinking for the past twenty four hours. Stepping into the phone booth, I popped a quarter in and dialed.

It rang twice before I heard a lazy "Hello?" from the person answering.

"It's Gabriel," I said quietly.

The line was quiet for a minute before I heard a more familiar voice. "Brother! It's been awhile," I could practically hear the grin in his words, and I couldn't help but laugh a little in relief.

"I need your help," I leaned on the glass, the reality of my situation sinking in again and causing my knees to go weak.

"You mean..."

"Yeah. Yesterday."

"I'm sorry, kid."

"Just help me out," I paused a moment. "Please, Lucifer."

"Yeah. Where are you?"

I told him and we agreed to meet at his house. I needed a coffee anyway.

*---x---*

In less than a week I was in a tugboat with all of my things (except my car, which I'd ditched a few towns east), all of my money had been cashed, and my ID burned. The new identification burned hot in my wallet as a reminder when the boat crossed the border, and a man met me and Lucifer on the Canadian shore, and he led me to a gravel clearing where a taxi was parked.

"Write me when you're settled, Gabriel. Good luck," Lucifer clasped me tight, and I returned the embrace. "You're in Crowley's hands now. He'll take you somewhere safe."

I got into the car after loading all of my things into it, and the car ride was quiet, which I was grateful for.

About an hour later, various back roads and corn fields long passed, we passed over a railroad, pulling soon after into a small town.

"Welcome to Chilliwack, British Columbia," Crowley grinned meeting my eyes in the rearview mirror.

"I've never heard of it," I said, watching as he turned onto Windsor Street.

"That's the point," the man chuckled, stopping in the driveway of a white house, the suburb around us quiet in the early morning.

"You're not going to be living alone," Crowley said as he exited the cab; I followed, going to grab my things. "There's another refugee already living here, but from what Lucifer's told me about you, you two will get along just fine," his eyes took on a mischievous glint I wasn't sure I liked. "You're on your own though, now. Go get friendly. I'll pop in once in awhile to make sure you're settled."

I nodded and approached the house in a daze. I didn't bother knocking, just stumbling in the front door, looking around at the open foyer. I didn't even hear Crowley take off behind me.

My things were on the floor around me immediately, my hands in the air as a shotgun was pointed at my head.

"H-hey," I said, gaze sliding up slowly to meet the eyes of the _giant_ man in front of me. Now, I wasn't a particularly tall guy, but this dude...he was _massive_. "You my housemate, or...?" The gun lowered slowly. "Gabriel Novak?" His eyes narrowed. I nodded slowly, my own hands not lowering. "Show me your ID," he held out one hand expectantly and I slowly reached into my back pocket to pull out my passport. My Canadian passport, of course.

He looked over it, sighed in relief, and put the gun in the back of a coat closet to my left.

"I'm Sam," he said, extending his hand, smiling brightly, like a switch had been flipped. "Sam Winchester."

I shook his hand, meeting his eyes again, and it was that moment that I knew I was lost completely.

*---x---*

"Gabriel, I'm going to the store. You need anything?"

I'd lived in Chilliwack - a relatively small town, where I could bike anywhere I needed in forty five minutes tops - a couple of months, and didn't know a lot of people, honestly. I spent my free time, whenever I wasn't working for the hydro company, that is, with Sam. I told myself because, as an illegal alien, I just didn't want to get close to anyone. Honestly that wasn't the reason at all.

"Just a walk. Mind if I come with you?" I started to get off the couch, planning on getting a snack if he declined my offer of company.

"Course not!" he smiled that bright smile and waited for me to get my shoes on.

It was a bright June Monday, about twenty degrees (I'd gotten used to measuring in Celsius by this point). A few elderly neighbours were out watering their gardens.

The grocery store was a few blocks from our house - a comfortable walk in any weather. We'd taken it often, but hadn't done so together in a little while. We didn't talk a whole lot, even when we got to the store. Sam bought what he needed and we stepped back outside.

"Hey. You wanna get some ice cream?" I thumbed over my shoulder at the ice cream parlour a few buildings over.

Sam chuckled. He was well aware of my sweet tooth by now, and nodded, slowly leading the way.

I insisted on paying for his cone, and helped him carry his groceries so he'd have a free hand to eat it with.

We stopped in the parking lot of the church on Windsor, sitting under the awning and eating our ice creams. I tried desperately not to watch Sam's mouth as he ate, but was doing a poor job of it.

He looked directly at me at one point, and our gazes met for a long time. I was sure I was doing a convincing impression of a deer caught in the headlights.

The Kansas man leaned down and kissed me, and I dropped my fucking ice cream.

*---x---*

One day, we got a letter.

I waved it at Sam with a sly smile. "Who's Dean, Sammy? He your huuuuusband~?"

Sam's eyes were wide, and he grabbed the envelope from my hand, not even registering my jibe. He tore the letter open and read it a few times, a soft smile settling over his face.

There were two pages, and Sam handed the second one to me. I took it, confused, and read.

_"Gabriel Novak", if that is your real name._  
 _Hey. I'm Dean, Sammy's older brother. He wrote me about you a couple times and I figured it was time to introduce myself._  
 _I'm actually working with your cousin, Castiel. He says you check out, so I'll take his word for it. He's a good solider. A good guy. He's got my back, and you should be damn proud of him._  
 _Anyways, you'd better take care of Sammy while I'm away. Or I'll kick your ass when I get back. Nam teaches you shit, so you should be worried._  
 _Don't give me reason to fuck you up, pigeon._  
 _Dean Winchester_

I looked over at Sam, narrowing my eyes. "You told your brother about me?"

"Course I did! When you moved in, and then...more recently," he went quiet, putting his own letter on the buffet nervously.

I chuckled, shaking my head a little. "Well I'm honoured," I said, stepping forward to embrace the other man. "Thank you."

"For what?" Sam's big arms wrapped around me and I leaned into him, warm and comfortable.

"Telling your brother about me... About us. I mean - that's kind of..." I didn't want to say anything further, knowing I'd never be able to tell most of my brothers about Sam. Then again, they didn't even know where I was, so it wasn't like it mattered much.

"Well I didn't mention it until he told me about your cousin," Sam chuckled. "So I knew it...wouldn't be a problem.

"What...about Cas...? Dean just told me they're touring together," I looked up at Sam, searching his face for the answers I already knew.

"Well yeah! Yeah, they're doing that. But they're also," he gestured between us briefly, " _together_."

I nodded. "Well I'm glad Cassie's happy, allegedly, at least."

Sam grinned, stepping forward and kissing my temple. "I'm glad we're _all_ happy," he said. "Dean should be close to done his tour soon, and he's gonna move here, probably... Until I can go back to America safely, of course."

"You're...planning on going back?" I tilted my head, frowning up at him.

"Well yeah, when the war's over... Weren't you going to?"

Honestly, I hadn't thought about it. The war just seemed to go on and on, and my brothers all supported it... Said it was our duty as Americans to stop the spread of Communism. And...after running away from that duty...I doubted they'd exactly welcome me home with open arms. Hell, I wouldn't be too surprised of they called the police, or just hung me for treason in the backyard to be done with me.

"I...I don't have anyone to go home to," I said. I knew that Dean was all Sam had, so...what was the point of going back to America? Couldn't the three of us (four, if Castiel was still in the picture at that point) stay happy in Canada? If Chilliwack was too small, or something, we could go to Vancouver, or anywhere east, even... But going back seemed so pointless to me.

I didn't voice these concerns, though. Not to Sam - so hopeful, so 'five-year-plan'.

"I guess I'll have to think about it," I said, with a smile, and he gave me a look that said _Tell me when you make a decision_ before kissing my temple again and sitting in his armchair to read.

I didn't think about it, though. I didn't want to. And when Dean showed up on our doorstep with all of his belongings, I still didn't know what I wanted to do.

He took what had previously been my room, said "Cas" was to meet him there in six months. He smiled to Sam, excited, but I could see his eyes were nothing but worried that Castiel wouldn't make those extra months.

"He's a Novak," I assured Dean. "He'll be here with more medals than they can fit around his neck."

"Of course! And you haven't even seen him in action! Like a god damned angel of war, he is," Dean grinned, pride radiating in waves off of him.

*---x---*

"The thing no one gets about Nam," he told me one afternoon, the both of us up in the cherry tree in the backyard, just eating them straight from the branches,"is that time moves weird there. I mean, I wasn't there long at all - according to Sammy, he's surprised how fast it seemed to pass. But I coulda sword I spent my whole fuckin' life there," Dean looked out across the yard - past it, to the mountain shaped like a bear's head, a double-cherry hanging over his ears.

*---x---*

Sam an I stayed inside when Castiel arrived. Dean was a private man, and we understood that the look on his face when he saw my cousin was for those blue eyes only.

"Cas!" I called once they came in, all too used to the nickname. "Long time no see!"

"Hello, Gabriel," he smiled like he always did. "I'm glad to see you're well."

" _Plenty_ well, actually," I grinned, draping my arm around Sam's waist.

My cousin nodded. "Dean told me about you and his brother."

We stood there, awkwardly staring at each other, for a short while, before Dean took Cas to their bedroom to get settled, which I was grateful to him for.

Cas and I had been close when we were kids, but it had been much too long since I'd seen him. And he'd probably been informed of my 'deserter' status long ago, both by his brothers and mine.

Castiel, the good little soldier, even before he'd been drafted.

*---x---*

"So," Dean said to the room of us, "America. Last i heard, we were gonna head back when the war's over, yeah?" He looked between Sam and I; obviously he and Cas had already talked about it between themselves.

I looked at Sam, eyes wide with terror, and he caught on that I still hadn't thought about it.

We went to our room, Dean and Cas excusing us with understanding smiles. I sat on the bed and Sam looked out the window at the backyard for a long time. His hands rested on the windowsill but I couldn't look at him. I knew Sam's body language too well, and couldn't face his anger. Not yet. Not until he forced me to.

"What do you want, Gabriel?" he asked, not turning to face me. I looked up at him, and his hands weren't on the windowsill anymore.

"I - " I didn't know _I haven't thought about it!_ I wanted to scream at him, raise my voice, stand on the bed so I'd finally be _taller_ than him, my Sammy. I didn't _want_ anything. _I have nothing in America!_ The only friends I had were in this house. I'd never gotten close to my coworkers: I never know who'd turn me in, get me deported.

And fuck, if they got me, they'd get Sam, too. Send us both off to Nam to die in a shit field, or of gangrene, or something stupid.

_The only thing I've ever wanted is right here!_

And I told him that, though under my breath, more calmly, less vague. I can't remember exactly what words I chose, but somehow a strangled _I love you_ came out, and Sam held me, the mattress depressing when he sat, leaning me into him like I liked, and he pulled me into his lap and kissed me, and kissed me, and kissed me.

*---x---*

A year later the war still hadn't ended. Americans were still being sent over, carrying a picture of their families and the honour of dying for their country.

Lucifer visited once, maybe twice. He had coffee and a sandwich, met Dean and Cas. I'm pretty sure he really just wanted to make sure the others weren't going to rat him out, but it was good to see him again.

Needless to say, we didn't move back to America. Not yet, anyway.

Dean got a job at a garage a few blocks away - I made a few jokes to Cas about him being good with his hands.

He didn't find them as funny as I did, but Cas generally wasn't too amused by that kind of thing. Party pooper.

We planted grapes along the fence in the backyard, and watched them grow. Sam and I sat under the vines in the summer, drinking lemonade. Sometimes kissing. Sometimes napping.

Thinking about it, it didn't matter to me _where_ we did this, America. Canada. It didn't matter so long as I could be with my Sammy. I couldn't even remember why I'd been so dumb about it before, because after everything, I had Sam, and if I stopped being a dumbass (I like to think I had), he'd be mine forever.

And 'forever' was where I wanted to be above all else.


End file.
